


So Much Happiness

by CallmeCordelia



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Gen, Past Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Sibling Bonding, Sister-Sister Relationship, Trauma, pre-wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:27:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23776078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallmeCordelia/pseuds/CallmeCordelia
Summary: Sisterly bonding on the night before the wedding.
Relationships: Hilda Spellman & Zelda Spellman
Comments: 17
Kudos: 38





	So Much Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> _“It is difficult to know what to do with so much happiness.  
>  With sadness there is something to rub against,  
> a wound to tend with lotion and cloth.  
> When the world falls in around you, you have pieces to pick up,  
> something to hold in your hands, like ticket stubs or change.”_
> 
> - _So Much Happiness_ by Naomi Shihab Nye

“There’s **nothing** to be scared about tonight.” 

“I’m not scared in the least,” She insists through a puff of smoke, continuing to wear a path in the shag rug. 

“This probably wasn’t my brightest idea. Maybe we should head back.” She begins gathering pieces of the half finished puzzle. 

“Why? Is something _wrong_ with it?” 

Hilda follows Zelda’s sweeping gesture. The cosy cottage screams ‘Hilda’ down to the smallest detail. The glow of candles casts everything in a warm, yellow hue. Plants decorate the windowsills, bathing in filtered moonlight. The comforting scents of mint and eucalyptus fill the air. Nestled comfortably in one corner her familiars are weaving their home for the night. Wood planks, warped with age, creak softly with each step. Gauzy curtains drape over the bed, just like in the romance novels Zelda claims never to have read. Such decadence is juxtaposed with a threadbare quilt that somehow still smells of mother’s perfume and bears a grape juice stain- _thank you, Sabrina_ \- that even magic can’t get out. 

“Everything’s perfect, Zelds. Me to a tee. It’s just that we’ve never left the kids alone overnight. Lilith knows what mischief they’ve gotten up to by now.” A reasonable excuse. Certainly better than admitting that while this night bears no resemblance to _that _night- no trail of rose petals or clocks ticking mercilessly on the mantle- the memory is sharp in both their minds.__

__“Nonsense. I left Prudence in charge of the twins and asked Marie to check on Sabrina and Ambrose. They’re perfectly safe.” She nods to herself._ _

__“We’re safe, too, you know.” Hilda approaches slowly. As she draws near, she watches Zelda’s throat work, her sightless stare trained on the far wall. “Zelds, no one is coming to- to _claim_ me. We’ve seen to it that He won’t be claiming anyone ever again.” _ _

__Zelda tenses but then leans into her touch as Hilda loops an arm around her waist. Stubbing out the spent cigarette, Hilda leads her to the bed. Zelda has always been a fitful sleeper. As a girl, she once woke the whole house with her screaming- the swing of father’s belt saw to it that it only happened the once- but this is something else. Since her return from Rome, Zelda scarcely closes her eyes. She stalks the house at all hours, pacing like a creature caged and filling the ashtrays to the brim until Hilda guides her back to their room. Even with Hilda sitting sentinel at her bedside, she doesn’t sleep more than a couple hours at a time. Foxglove would help, but Zelda staunchly refuses to relinquish even that much of her newly-won control._ _

__Tucking her in, Hilda climbs in behind her and cradles her like when they were girls. She holds her close and waits for the tension wound inside to uncoil._ _

__“Tonight is about pampering and a bit of girl-talk.” She knows without looking Zelda’s nose has wrinkled at that description. “And then tomorrow the man I love and I are going to be married beneath the full moon by the first High Priestess of the Church of Lilith. And then we’re going on our honeymoon to… well, you still won’t tell me what you’ve arranged.”_ _

__“So Dr Dracula hasn’t spoiled the surprise yet?”_ _

__She can’t help but smile at the attempted levity. “He wouldn’t dare. You terrify him.”_ _

__“Good.”_ _

__Hilda’s fingers find the spot on Zelda’s side that makes her squirm and suppress a most un-High-Priestess-like giggle._ _

__“Wherever we’re going, I know it’ll be lovely. And then we’ll come home-”_ _

__“-after a week of frenzied carnality-”_ _

__Lightly slapping her sister’s arm, Hilda ignores the heat in her cheeks. “-we’ll come home and live long, boring, happy lives.”_ _

__“Boring?” Zelda scoffs in playful disbelief. “I wouldn’t bet on it. Have you forgotten about your niece, the Queen of Calamity herself?”_ _

__Their shared laugh is strained and Hilda huddles closer._ _

__“Sabrina notwithstanding, we could all do with a bit of calm for a while. And you could do with a bit of happiness. It’s not fair that I get so much I could burst when...”_ _

__Neither can bear for her to finish the thought._ _

__“I’m content, Hilda.”_ _

__“Content? Or resigned?”_ _

__“Is there a difference?” Her shrug is genuine and it only breaks Hilda’s heart further._ _

__“‘Course there is. And _happy_ is another thing entirely. You have a duty to your happiness, too, Zelds.” _ _

__“My duty is to my family and my coven.”_ _

__“And yourself.” The tears gathering in her eyes spill over at the minute shake of Zelda’s head._ _

__“I don’t have your talent for happiness. Even when I have it, I find a way to ruin it. Sometimes intentionally. My family is safe for the moment. Our coven is small, but growing stronger. Things are finally looking up. I can’t ask for more than that.”_ _

__She watches the shadows flickering in the candlelight, trying not to think about the last time Zelda dared to hope that _‘things were looking up’_. “I want more for you.” _ _

__The responding silence is a cue to let the matter drop, but Hilda can’t help herself. “I see the way Marie looks at you like you hung the moon.”_ _

__“Marie is very charming.”_ _

__“It’s more than that and you know it. I see how kind she is, how you smile when she’s around. She’s good to you. She could make you happy if you’d let her.”_ _

__“Spare me your sentimentality.” Zelda pulls away, tucking the quilt more closely around her shoulders._ _

__Propped up on her elbow, she sweeps the copper strands off her sister’s cheek. “I understand your reluctance after… _everything_. But no matter what that mind of yours tells you, you deserve to be loved.” _ _

__“Marie and I both have far too much to do to concern ourselves with trivial, romantic notions. Much as I enjoy her company, I know she is only here for a season. There’s no point in getting attached.”_ _

__“You don’t have to push away every good thing for fear of it being taken from you. Not anymore.”_ _

__“Best defence is a good offence.”_ _

__“I know you’re scared, but we’ll find him. I promise you that. And when I’m through, there’ll be nothing left to bury. I don’t know if that’ll help. I don’t know what will, but…” She presses a kiss into red gold waves. “I won’t let anything else be taken from you.”_ _

__Hilda brushes through Zelda’s hair, as shoulders shake and silent tears spill._ _

__The candles have burned low by the time Zelda speaks again. “You’ve got a life to live, a life that’s your own. Don’t worry about me.”_ _

__“You're my sister, it’s my job to worry about you.”_ _

__“Don’t. Just promise you’ll drop in occasionally... _for Sabrina’s sake._ ” _ _

__“I’m afraid I won’t be ‘dropping in’.” As Zelda’s spine stiffens, Hilda rushes to clarify. “Cee and I discussed it. His place is fine for a bachelor, but it’s a bit small. Besides, Lilith knows what would become of my garden if I left it to your brown thumb”_ _

__There’s a watery chuckle as Zelda leans back against her. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve cultivated orchids, I can certainly handle a few cabbages.”_ _

__“I’ve seen you kill a cactus.”_ _

__“It was cursed and you know it.” Zelda threads their fingers together. “In any case, I _suppose_ we can make room for a discount vampire, if you insist.” _ _

__Hilda’s harrumph is purely for show. She knows this bit of playacting is necessary after such a show of vulnerability._ _

__“Now, you’re not here to insult my husband.”_ _

__“ _Future_ husband.” _ _

__“You’re here to paint my nails and make me hot cocoa and tell me stories like in the old days.”_ _

__“You’re not a child, Hildegard.”_ _

__“No, I’m a bride-to-be on her wedding eve and I get whatever I want.”_ _

__“Fine. Once there was a weather forecaster garbed in a hideous, rayon cape...”_ _

__“Oh, you hush!”_ _

__Rolling over to face her, Zelda does her best to look haughty with red-rimmed eyes and a quilt tucked up to her chin. “He’d better know how lucky he is.”_ _

__“What? That you haven’t gone after him with a shovel yet?”_ _

__There’s not a trace of mockery when Zelda answers. “That he has a place in your heart.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this bit of sisterly bonding. When I read Naomi Shihab Nye's poem it just screamed 'Zelda' to me.


End file.
